Is realising that you get to choose. You get to choose who you spend time with and the relationships you invest in. You get to choose how you spend your money and how you grow it. You get to choose whether you want to stay in this job, or pick another one. You get to choose how you're going to feel about this current situation.
The fastest way to happiness is to choose to be happy first and then take actions that bring you closer to that choice. The fastest way to feel unhappy is to feel like you're a victim of what life is throwing at you. The biggest shift you'll ever have is realising that the only person who is responsible for your happiness is you.
It's not his fault, her bitchiness, their high expectations or your parents lack of preparing you for the world. You are so much more powerful than those stories.
Wipe the slate clean, declutter, let shit go. Then get to work on getting happy.
It happens to all of us at some time or another. Maybe it's that feeling of groundhog day at work, maybe you can't seem to move forward on anything or perhaps life just isn't turning out the way you thought it would. Most of us have asked ourselves, at some point in our lives, "What's the point?! What am I here for?" or even... "Why bother?"
When you feel stuck, there are a few crucial things you can do to shift your energy and get back into momentum of feeling focused, happy and in charge of your own destiny.
1. Make a decision
My friend and mentor, Bex, likes to say that "powerful people make decisions." This mantra has stuck with me whenever I feel like life isn't flowing and it snaps me back into taking personal responsibility for my feelings and my own happiness. When you feel like life is happening to you, it's often easy to get caught up in victim mode. "My car's always breaking down" or "that guy didn't call back" or "my career is going nowhere" - all of these might be accurate assessments of what you feel life is like, but now that you've registered that it's up to you to make a decision: is that what you want your life to be like?
When you take 100% responsibility for how you feel in every moment you take back your power and can begin to get unstuck. Firstly, ask yourself "How do I want to feel right now? Do I want to feel angry / pissed off / depressed.... or do I want to feel hopeful, happy or positive?" By the way, it's totally fine if you decide that "no, actually I'm pretty upset and I want to wallow right now", but even by making that decision, you'll notice that something really interesting will happen. For one thing, you'll start feeling a bit better because you realise that feeling that way is a choice that you've made, not something happening to you. Secondly, when you let yourself claim your feelings rather than be annoyed that they're happening they tend to move on much faster. You'll probably find that after an hour or two of said wallowing, you actually think "Ok, I'm a bit tired of this now. Where can I go to next?"
2. Create an inspiring vision
Once you've decided that you want to feel happy, it's time to create an inspiring vision for your life because it's hard to feel like you're growing or you have momentum if you're not sure what you're moving towards. Your vision for your life is what will pull everything together and make decision making that much easier. When you can ask yourself "Does this decision bring me closer to my vision or take me further away from it?" you can usually get a pretty clear answer straight away. Oh, and by the way, a big part of your vision is feeling happy and fulfilled, not just doing what looks good on paper.
As an employee at lululemon athletica, we are asked to create goals that spur us on and excite us. The way we do this is by creating a 10 year vision of what we want our life to be like and working back from there. The reason this is so powerful is that 10 years seems far enough away that it allows us to create some pretty powerful and audacious goals. Once you have this vision, it's then pretty easy to drill backwards and see what you'll need to be doing in 5 years time, 3 years time or 6 months time to bring this dream to life. (There is a free version of this worksheet as well as some inspiring videos over at the lululemon website - you can check it out under their Vision and Goals section here)
That's where the inner work like meditation, personal growth and vision and goals becomes so effective; its essentially uncovering the awesome blueprint you already have in place for how to feel happy, healthy and abundant. Without something compelling to pull us forward, most of us feel a sense of being left behind or missing out on something in life.
3. Take action
After choosing how you want to feel and creating a compelling vision for your life, take inspired action. Again, just make a decision and take action from that place. So many times we feel stuck because we are waiting for the "right" decision to come along before we get moving and guess what? There probably isn't one. I've learnt that any decision is better for your happiness and self esteem than sitting on the fence and letting months or even years pass by because you're too afraid to fail. Confidence is built not by knowing the right answer, but by taking action and trusting that no matter what happens, you'll survive. There is no right decision - there is the best decision you can make at the time which will always lead you to the next part of the journey. If you want to get unstuck, free yourself from the fear that you'll never get it 'right'. Make the best decision you can and get moving.
4. Pick what feels high and light
On that note, you want to be moving towards a life that feels vibrant and energising to you, so with every decision you make, lean into the question "Does this feel high and light? Or does it feel low and heavy?" Your intuition always has a better gauge on what will make you happy than anyone else does. Have fun with it, and see what it would feel like in 3 months time if you say 'yes' to this opportunity now. 6 months.... 5 years.... you get the idea.
When you feel like crap, it's tempting to look at these types of exercises and feel like they won't work for you but I guarantee that if you take action, you will always see results...and actually you are already seeing the results of the actions you have been taking! If you don't like the result then change the action. It's all in your hands :)
As I slumped dejectedly in my bed, barely able to breathe through my nose, feeling like I’d been hit by a truck and clutching an ever-thinning roll of toilet paper, I realised that while I eat pretty healthily and have got (most of) my emotional shit together, my holistic health was a bit lacking when it came to supporting my immune system.
A bad cold is a bit like a bad hangover, and lying there in the midst of all I got a bit of the guilts recognising that I could have done a bit more to prevent my current situation. Aside from trying to stay warm and eating lots of greens, I hadn’t really prepared by troops for battle all that well in the descent into cold and flu season. So how to fix it now that I was a hot mess? Like a rally cry, “Vitamin C!” immediately popped into my head. I grabbed my laptop, excited to ask Dr. Google how much I could consume to start feeling like a human being again. However, as I started reading, I was surprised to realise that Vitamin C is more about prevention than cure. In other words...
Eating an orange won't cure a cold.
Vitamin C in fruits and veggies help to build a strong immune system but by the time you’ve fallen prey to a virus it’s bit too late. If you get your intake of Vitamin C daily, however, it will provide you with a whole host of health benefits, including:
We also need Vitamin C to be able to absorb iron, so to say it’s important is a huge understatement.
It's also vital that we add it to our diet every day because, as a water soluble compound, our body can't store any extra - it just gets flushed out when we pee. Luckily, it's pretty easy to get the recommended dose into your body!
I found a couple of diagrams over at www.nutritionfoundation.org.nz showing how much you need and where you can find it. it’s easy to see that even for most of us, even if you had just half a red capsicum every day you’d still be well over double your RDI of Vitamin C.
But what if, like me, you’re a bit late on the prevention and you need the cure?
With a viral cold and flu, bedrest and liquids are really the only answers, BUT I also found Ginger, Lemon and Honey tea to be a lifesaver. There is an awesome recipe for a ginger tea base that you can make and keep on hand at this awesome blog called Simple Green Smoothies.
I basically just grated about a tbsp of fresh ginger into a mug and added 1 tsp of honey and lots of lemon. Ginger helps you sweat out a cold, thins your mucus (that’s a good thing…), reduces fever, is antiseptic, has a slight sedative effect, boosts circulation and has about 12 antiviral compounds. (note: If you’re not used to fresh ginger, this will feel like a tiny fist punching you in the back of your tonsils. But trust me, then you feel better).
Hopefully this spares you the tissues over the winter months!
photo from www.simplegreensmoothies.com
Law Of Attraction
Seasonal Affective Disorder