In my mid twenties I was going through a hard time. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but just struggling with your usual quarter life crisis - a relationship break up, carrying a bit of extra weight, having no energy and feeling like I had no idea what I was doing with my job or my life. (The silver lining of this was, of course, that it led me to my passion for holistic health and personal growth, so don't feel too bad for me). It was somewhere on this journey towards rebuilding my relationship with myself that I came across the idea of self love. I can't remember where I read it first (probably Louise Hay?) but I remember thinking "yes! That's what I need!" After feeling the rush from that epiphany my next thought was.... "How do I get that?"
You might be feeling the same way. Although self love is a term that's used a bit more frequently than it was years ago, it still remains a kind of broad, sometimes vague term that is a little hard to action. What does loving yourself more actually look like?
I definitely didn't get it. I thought self love was all about eating healthy food, having bubble baths and booking massages, and at that point I was already doing all of those things. I knew there was a deeper level I needed to go to, but it felt like I didn't have the map to get there. I went online and after a bit of digging, found a coach called Christine Arylo who is a self love coach in America. She used the example of Self Love as a tree with Self Worth being the trunk and 10 different branches representing aspects of Self Love. That's when it finally made sense to me. From this I could clearly see which areas of my self love muscle needed more attention than the others, and could start to create practical action steps to improve this area of my life.
If you know that your self love muscle could use a bit of work, then read through the following list and see if there is an area that jumps out at you as being important. Don't overthink it. You'll usually feel it in your gut or just have a knowing that this area is the next right place to focus some attention.
These are adapted from Christine Arylo's 'Self Love Tree' which you can also download here: Self Love
Self Love areas
So which area landed for you? When I did this years ago, it was self trust. I realised that part of the reason I felt lost was because I wasn't following my interests and passions. This led me to learn more about intuition, take different actions in my life and I'm currently studying intuitive coaching with one of my mentors.
So which area is it for you? Fill in the blank with your area of choice:
"If my self ____ was a 10/10, what would I be doing differently?"
No doubt you will intuitively get at least one answer of something you could do to take action in this area of your self love. Carve out some time every day or even once a week to take action on this area. Just like building a muscle at the gym, you need to devote some energy, time and action to transforming your self love muscle too. It's an ongoing journey but the practice (and the results!) are so, so worth it.
If you'd like to discuss working together to build your self love muscle, I offer Self Love: 101 as a 10 Week program. Send me an email or give me a text or call to discuss the options. I'd love to connect with you!